Fluffy The Vampire Slayer
by Scarlet Heir
Summary: The Inu cast tries to do a re-make of Buffy the vampire Slayer.
1. Default Chapter

okay, i just thought of this one, and it's really cute.  
  
Yall know who Buffy the Vampire slayer is right?  
  
Well, this is my version: Fluffy the Vampire slayer.  
  
k---  
  
Sessh: "No way am i doing this." holds up script.  
  
You are, cause i say you are.  
  
Sessh: "You cant make me." Glares evilly at director.  
  
Wanna bet? Holds up a bottle of herbal esscenses shampoo.  
  
Sessh: "Okay, fine." Pulls on fluffy white boa.  
  
Inuyasha and Kouga come out from behind the stage bickering.  
  
Inu: "No way are you OZ! I am OZ!  
  
Kouga: "I am Oz, cause Oz is dating Willow, and Kagome is my woman!"  
  
"Both of you shut up!"  
  
Inu and Kouga: "Make us!"  
  
"Fine, Inuyasha is Willow, and Kouga is Oz!"  
  
Inu and Kouga facefault.  
  
Sessh: "ha ha ha ha ha!" points at the two.  
  
"Shut up or i'll make you cordelia."  
  
Sessh: "Eep."  
  
"Come on out yall!"  
  
Kag: "Hey, scarlet, if Inu is Will, and Kouga is oz, then who am i?"  
  
Kik: "Yeah! what about me!"  
  
Thinks for a moment  
  
"Kagome, You are Cordelia, and Kikyou can clean the basement bathroom."  
  
Kik: Then what? I want a part in this or else!" Points holy arrow at author.  
  
Pushes arrow point down.  
  
"I'm evil, but you can't hurt me, Kikyou, you should know that by now. But, if and when you get that bathroom clean, you can have a part just for you."  
  
Kik: "Yay!" Hopps toward basement stairs.  
  
Sniggers  
  
Inu: "What's so funny?"  
  
Sniggers  
  
"That's Jaken's bathroom."  
  
All: Sniggers  
  
"Okay, yall, let's start filming! Where's the camera!?"  
  
Sessh: "You were supposed to bring it." points at scarlet.  
  
"Nu ugh, i'm the director!"  
  
"Does anyone have a camera?"  
  
All: Shakes head  
  
"Great! Now i have to go and get one, be right back!"  
  
Three hours later  
  
Three days later..  
  
Sessh: Okay, that's it, i'm outta here!  
  
All: Jumps up and runs out of door.  
  
Three menutes later..  
  
Arrives huffing and puffing  
  
"Sorry it took so long, guys, but i had to run to town real quick...."  
  
Shruggs.  
  
"Oh well, at least i can take my nap now."  
  
-------  
  
Okay, enjoy?  
  
Tell me if i should continue or not, cause i might not.  
  
anyways, let's go to bed now, it's night time here. 


	2. take Onealmost

i swear, if i don't quit losing my floppys, i'm gonna lose my mind.  
  
Oh well, let's get down to the story.  
  
Thankies to all of yall faithful reviewers who want this story continued.  
  
It is surprising how many buffy and Inuyasha fans there is..Stares off into space  
  
Okay, i got a couple of questions that was asked, so i think that i will answer them now.  
  
Miroku will be spike.  
  
And yes, i will try to update as soon as i type things up, so yall can enjoy things i write at all times.  
  
I have a verry hectic updating schedule, considering that the only internet time i get is at 745 in the morning, and then i only get about twenty minutes at that, so if i dont review a lot of stories, then it's because, either i couldn't get a computer in the computer lab, or i just didn't have the time.  
  
Okay, now that i have gotten that done, let's go to the story...  
  
K.  
  
---  
  
Snores loudly  
  
Sessh: "Wake up you stupid.."  
  
Blinks awake and gives fluffy the death glare  
  
"You stupid what?"  
  
Sessh: "Eep!" Ducks behind Kagome.  
  
"Kagome won't save you."  
  
ducks around Kag and up to fluffy  
  
Sessh: "Don't kill me!"  
  
Kagura: "If you kill off the main character, then you don't have a story"  
  
Glares over at Kagura  
  
"You can too! Look at Yu Yu Hakusho! Yuuske died in the first episode! Wanna bet i cant?"  
  
Kagura: "Eep!"  
  
Drags Kagura kicking and screaming back into the basement studio  
  
"Jaken! Come here you little toad!"  
  
Jaken: "I resent that" Waddles out from a shadow, various insects hanging from his beak.  
  
Stares  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Anyways, cn we begin shooting now?"  
  
All: Nods head  
  
Inu: "Hey, where's Kikyou?"  
  
"Oh, she's still trying to clean the bathroom."  
  
Kikyou: Popping up out of nowhere  
  
Kik: "Did i hear my name? Is it my turn to play a part now?"  
  
"Are you done with the bathroom?"  
  
Kik: "Yeeeeah..."  
  
"Let's go see."  
  
Walks down stairs into sub-basement and into the bathroom, ducking under cobwebs  
  
"This aint clean. I want clean."  
  
Storms up stairs acting mad  
  
"Tee hee."  
  
All:"What?"  
  
'That bathroom was spotless."  
  
All: "So?"  
  
"I told her it wasnt clean and....Never mind."  
  
All: Shrugs  
  
A large spider comes down from rafters and starts attacking director.  
  
"AAAAAAAAH!!!"  
  
Screams while running around all panicky  
  
Jaken: "There is where you got off to you little munchie!" Slurps up bug  
  
"okay, Eew! I don't know what's worse, Being attacked by a killer bug, or being licked by the toad."  
  
Squirms  
  
Kouga: Hey, when are we going to start filming?  
  
"When the rest of the crew get here with the pizza."  
  
Sesshie: Shrugs and walks off toward his "Trailer"  
  
"Um..."  
  
Sessh: "I'm going to practice my lines."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
Shrugs  
  
"Wait, what lines? We aint even got a script!"  
  
Sessh: "So?"  
  
Inu: "he means that he's going to go put on makeup and prance around in the woods"  
  
"Oh....."  
  
Gets mental pictures and sticks tongue out."  
  
"Eeeew.."  
  
Sessh: "I heard that!"  
  
Inu: "By the way, where's Kagome?"  
  
"She's off with the person i cast for xander."  
  
Inu and Kouga: "And who is that!?"  
  
Grins  
  
Inu and Kouga: "Tell me or i will kill you"  
  
Grins even wider.  
  
"Not telling."  
  
Smirk  
  
Sessh: "Tell me."  
  
Whispers into Sesshie's ear  
  
Sessh: Evil grin.  
  
"He he he he he."  
  
"Well, it looks like the rest of the cast isn't here yet, so i guess we'll have to do it without them."  
  
Kouga: "Finally, let's shoot!"  
  
"We ain't shooting today, we are having the pre-shooting day party today."  
  
picks up telephone  
  
"hello, Ci Ci's? Yeah, i want fifty large pizzas, Five of Cheese, Five veggie lovers, the rest of them are meat lovers, no anchovies! Be here in thirty minutes or you dont get paid."  
  
"Let's partay!!!!"  
  
------  
  
Okay, now let's get on to tellin' me what to do.  
  
I need suggestions, people! There is absolutely no plot in this thing so git to it. 


	3. TAKE one and two! Kinda

Okay, Hm, I think that, since i haven't done this in a while, i will do it today!  
  
Responses time! Yayness!  
  
Chapter one:  
  
Reaka - thanks for being my first reviewer, as always, i enjoy your thoughts on my works, and apparently there are some BVS fans out there, so I guess that as long as people keep reviewing, then i'll keep writing.  
  
Lady of Sesshomaru - You dont have to YELL! I can hear you just fine. I'm not so sure about it being just as awesome as the real Buffy, but it will be funny.  
  
yfydtyuy - Confusing name, Thanks for reviewing TWICE! And with this kind of encouragement, i think that i will.  
  
HI - Okay! Okay! sheesh, You dont have to yell already! Thankies for your review though  
  
BlueBabe - it's not really supposed to be real, just funny, kinda like "Honey On A Vine". . But, i do write stuff where it isn't so OOC. Thanks for your review!  
  
Demonraider33 - Thanks, i will try.  
  
Otaku Kurai Tenshi - i'm so glad you like Buffy, i've, like memorized the whole first season....Those were the days....8Daydreams of the first fluff scene between Angel and Buffy And i belive i done answered your question. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Sesshy'sWoman - I'm glad, most of my crap is all depressing and makes people wanna cry. i'm soo happy that i can write something that'll make people laugh.  
  
Chapter Two:  
  
Reaka - Thanks, and I'm not telling! Thanks for the inspiration though, and the review,of course!  
  
KailoverLC - Lemme guess, you like Miroku? I have to admit he is cute, i belive that my boyfriend is a direct descendant of Miroku, i swear it...I'm soo glad it's funny, though.  
  
Inuyashafreak32 - Oh, it could be, you inspired me! (dont ask, i'm just weird that way.) I tink you like de word Fluffy.  
  
Soul-Mage - Cool name, and thanks for the tip. Btw, Xander is Cordelia's makeout partner. They like closets, Janitor closets...utility closets...bedroom closets...chemistry closets...any kind of closet. Shudders at mental image  
  
End of reviewer responses!  
  
if i didn't get to you this time, i will next time.  
  
Once again, i would like to thank you for all of your patience with my computer times and everything. Thankies for all of my loving Reviewers.  
  
Okay, okay, i'll quit showing off and get to the story...  
  
Eventually...  
  
----  
  
Kagome: "Scarlet!" Stomps into the room, clutching bow and arrows, scaring the director  
  
"Yeeeeas?"  
  
Kag: "What's the deal with this?!" Pushes script into Scarlet's face  
  
"You mean the makeout scene?"  
  
Kag: "That's exactly what i mean!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Kag: "I am NOT doing this!"  
  
"Why?"  
  
Inu: "Who's Xander?" Taps on Kag's shoulder  
  
Naraku: "I'm Xander." Appearing in the doorway wearing monkey pelt.  
  
"Yup."  
  
Nara: "It is not a MONKEY pelt! it is a BABOON pelt!" Glares at Scarlet  
  
"Look, i'll call it a Jaken pelt if you dont stop picking at people, and i'll make you wear it too!"  
  
Nara: Shudders  
  
"Can we begin?"  
  
All: Nods  
  
"Okay, Fluffy, you come in from the left, you are trying out for cheerleading."  
  
Fluffy: Twirls in cheerleader skirt  
  
All: Shudders  
  
"Okay, who's the cheer capitan and her cronies?"  
  
Looks around stage and grabs up a stuffed bunny and jaken and a stuffed bear.  
  
"You guys are the cheerleaders, Jaken you are the cheer capitan!"  
  
Shuffles back behind the camera.  
  
"Okay, GO!"  
  
Fluff: "Peice of cake." Runs to back of room  
  
Fluff: Turns three backflips, two roundabouts, and a quadruple twist.  
  
(A/N I am not big on gymnastics lingo, so bear with me.)  
  
"Alright, Now Jaken, say your line!"  
  
Jaken: Trembles, shakes...rattles...Squacks...wets hisself.  
  
Nara: "Ha!, The little sht wet himself! Ha haha haha ha ha ha haha!"  
  
Glomps Naraku on the head with sakabatou, Thanks Kenshin  
  
Fluff: "It's okay, Jaken, come on, let's get you cleaned up." Picks up the toad and carries him off to the dressing room.  
  
"Okay...."  
  
Twitch  
  
"Okay, fine, we'll skip that scene! On to scene two!"  
  
Kag: "What's scene two?" Starts flipping through script  
  
"Um....The makeout scene between..."  
  
Bursts out laughing  
  
All: "What?"  
  
Whispers the next scene in Kag's ear  
  
Kag: Bursts out laughing  
  
Inu: "What the fuk is the next scene?"  
  
"Okay..Okay! It's..the makeout scene between....Willow and Ozz!"  
  
Bursts out laughing again  
  
Inu and Kouga: "Hll NO!"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
Inu and Kouga: "We are not doing THAT!"  
  
"Okay, if it makes you feel better, then i will put Jaken as Willow and switch you two out as we go along "  
  
Inu and kouga: "No! We'll do it we'll do it!"  
  
"Okay, Rolling!"  
  
Inu and Kouga: Lean in to kiss, both with a descusted look on their faces.  
  
"Come on, look like you want it, or we will do this scene fifteen times until you get it right!"  
  
Inu and kouga: glares evilly at Scarlet  
  
"Get to it!"  
  
Inu and Kouga: Closes eyes and imagines they are about to Kiss Kag and...  
  
Buzzer goes off and Scarlet jumpes up, knocking camera over.  
  
Inu and Kouga: Smooch! Smooch smooch  
  
"Alright! Cut! Sorry, but the camera got nocked over, can we do that take again?"  
  
Inu and Kouga: "Die!" Chases after Scarlet, pulling out swords on the way  
  
"Aaaack! Run away!"  
  
"That's it for today! Now i have to run for my life, cuz i think you would like for me to finish this!  
  
Runs away, Inu and Kouga chasing after her  
  
Kag: "Okay..."  
  
Kikyou: Popping up through the floorboards "it it time for my part yet?"  
  
All: "NO!"  
  
Kik: "Hmph." dodges stuffed bear and goes back down into the lower basement.  
  
----  
  
Okay, that's it for this chappie, now on to the reviewing time!  
  
See the little button?  
  
Click it.. it may make me update faster..May being the key word there.  
  
Treats for everyone who reviews! .  
  
The future is only a distant memory, not yet recorded. - Me 


	4. Naraku's weird Demise

Treats to everyone! Yayness!  
  
Okay, yall, that was your only one, cause yall didn't want me updating, except for my few loyal fandoms, but that's about it.  
  
okay, now, If yall like Yu Yu Hakusho, Please, i beg of you, please, read "Sweet but sour revenge" by Aviarianna O Lorien, she so deserves more reviews than she has been getting! I am so serious.

and please read "Wolf's Maiden", by Kimera Diablos, I'm co-writing it for her.

Now that that is done. I will get back to the story!  
  
------  
  
"Okay yall! Let's get rolling!"  
  
Holds up camera  
  
Inu: "Die!" Runs at scarlet weilding Tetsuaiga  
  
"Okay, stop."  
  
Holds up hand, actually stopping Tetsuaiga  
  
Inu: "What! o.O''"  
  
Naraku: "Hey, cool! Can you teach me how to do that?!"  
  
looks from Inuyasha to Naraku  
  
"Get 'em boy!"  
  
Points at naraku  
  
Inu: "Glad to!" Runs over and attacks Naraku, cutting off his head  
  
Nara: "Ha ha ha ha ha! You think that i would use my own body to come here?! Mwa haha ha ha!"  
  
"Um, Naraku?"  
  
Nara: "What wench?"  
  
narrows eyes  
  
"Okay, that's it, the only reason I kept you around was cause i needed you for the part of Xander, but that's the last straw!"  
  
Grabs the Naraku head and pokes a finger up it's nose. Suddenly the top of the head comes open like it was on a hinge and a teeney tiney little bitty monkey man starts jumping up and down, shaking it's fists.(yes i qualify him as an "It")  
  
Thingie: "You stupid...!"  
  
Swuish  
  
Shakes thingie goo off of fist  
  
"Ah, that's better."  
  
All: Stares  
  
"What?  
  
Inu: "You could have done that at any time?!"  
  
"uh.....Yeah."  
  
Kag: "Yay!"  
  
"What?"  
  
Kag: "well, Naraku's dead!"  
  
"So?"  
  
Miroku and Sango, coming in from upstairs: "What's up guys?"  
  
"Oh, nothing much. Can we start now?"  
  
All: Nods vigorously  
  
"Thanks. Okay, the next scene is where Spike gropes Buffy in their fight sequence."  
  
fluffy: "HLL NO!"  
  
Stares  
  
"Wow, he actually has emotion....creepy."  
  
Miroku: "Hm." Stares at Sesshie's butt  
  
"okay, EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!"  
  
Jaken: "Noone touches my lord's butt!" Mutters something else that noone could catch  
  
"Okay, i don't know which is grosser, but i think we'll skip that scene!"  
  
Kikyou: Pops up from lower basement "Is it my turn yet?"  
  
"Bloody Hll! Come on, i have a part that will suit you nicely!"  
  
Grabs Kagura and drags him off  
  
"Okay, got it?"  
  
Kagura: nods, grin flashing across face  
  
"Yayness!"  
  
"Okay, in this scene, Kikyou, you play the vic.. Um, acting Coughvictimcough leading lady in this scene." (translation: Cough Victim Cough"  
  
Kik: "Yay!"  
  
"Anyways.. And Kagura, you will play the part of Illya, Spike's lover."  
  
Sango: "Grrr."  
  
Whispers in Sango's ear  
  
Sango: nods and grinns evilly  
  
"Okay, yall, places places!"  
  
Holds up camera  
  
"Rolling!"  
  
Kagura starts biting Kik's neck  
  
Kik: "Hey! Ow that hurts! Hey! You are drawing blood! Aaaaaak!" Crumbles into pile of dirt  
  
Kagura: Spits out mouthful of dust and wipes off tongue, having dry heaves. "Stupid wench, nasty."  
  
"Thanks, Kagura, she was getting on my nerves."  
  
Kagura: "No problem."  
  
Inu: "Kikyou!"  
  
Kag: "Inuyasha?"  
  
Inu: "Kagome?"  
  
Kag: "Sit."  
  
Inu: "Ooomph" meets old friend, the dirt  
  
"Thanks, Kagome, now, i think it's time for a quick nap"  
  
yawns  
  
-------  
  
Okay! That's that chappie! How'd ya like it?  
  
Please tell me, i think it would be nice to hear what you think.  
  
I have gone to find myself, if i get back before i do, please keep me here. - A tee shirt i saw today. -' 


	5. Show Time!

Like my nap? I think i still ain't worked the soreness of my muscles out.  
  
Oh, well. Here's the chaper.  
  
-----------------------  
  
Inu: "Can we start now!?"  
  
"..."  
  
Yawns  
  
Kag: "Scarlet?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
Kag: "Can we start shooting?"  
  
"We're done."  
  
All: "What?!" .O  
  
"We're done. I've been shooting this whole time."  
  
All: "You serious?"  
  
"I'm always serious."  
  
Kimera: "No you're not."  
  
"Where'd you come from?"  
  
K: "i brought Bagby."  
  
"Where?"  
  
Bagby: "Hey."  
  
"Okay, for all yall people who don't know yet, Bagby is my boyfriend. My very related to miroku boyfriend."  
  
B: Blushes.  
  
"Okay..."  
  
Fluffy: "What are you doing?"  
  
B: Removes hand from flufffy's butt.  
  
Slap!  
  
"You guys want to see?"  
  
All: "Um. Sure?"  
  
Pops tape into big screen TV.  
  
Scene one: Fluffy.  
  
Fluffy comes up on screen, he's in his 'trailer' putting on makeup.  
  
"How cn you see into my eyes..." He starts singing along with evanescense.  
  
The mirror shatters, and the camera cracks.  
  
then the screen goes fuzzy.  
  
Scene two: Jaken  
  
Jaken is sitting on a toadstool in the fish pond out back.  
  
He's holding somehting in his hand.  
  
"Oh, my sweet, sweet honey, how i wish you were mine."  
  
camera zooms in and it's a picture of Sesshomaru's tail.  
  
Scene three: Scarlet  
  
Scarlet is jumping on a trampeline.  
  
Suddenly her shoe flies off and kicks camera, wich falls and lands in a pile of poop.  
  
Scene four: Naraku  
  
Naraku is in a pink tuu tuu, and is on a rock in the middle of the woods.  
  
"I'm a little tea pot, short and stout...."  
  
He's actually doing the motions.  
  
Recorder is laughing so hard that she is discovered and wooden tentacles shoot out at her.  
  
Scene five: Inuyasha  
  
Inuyasha is sitting on the roof.  
  
He starts examining his fingernails, and then his toenails.  
  
Then he starts biting his toenails, completely contented.  
  
"Inuyasha! Sit!" Kag yells and inuyasha falls through the roof.  
  
Scene six: Sango and Miroku.  
  
Closeup of sign.  
  
'Miroku's Room'  
  
Scene switches, and Miroku and sango are walking into Miroku's room.  
  
Closeup of sign, it's shaking and bouncing off the wall.  
  
Scene seven: Makeout paradise  
  
Inuyasha and Kouga are making out on stage, locked in a passionate kiss.  
  
Inuyasha and kagome are making out behind the stage.  
  
Kikyou is making out with a wet mop.  
  
Jaken is making out with Sesshie's tail.  
  
Sesshomaru is making out with a clone of himself.  
  
Rin is making out with shippou behind a tree.  
  
Scarlet is making out with bagby.  
  
Kimera is making out with Inuyasha, Kagome glaring at him.  
  
Scene eight: End.  
  
Big hand scribbled sign comes up on screen.  
  
The sign says  
  
"End"  
  
The screen flashes off, and the tv turns off.  
  
"Okay, yall, how'd ya like it?"  
  
All: "..."  
  
"Well?"  
  
All: "Die!!!!!!!!!!!!" Picks up pitchforks and begins chasing Scarlet around room.  
  
"Aaaah! I don't see what's soo wrong about it!"  
  
------  
  
Okay, yall that's the end of this chappie. I don't know how many I have left, but it probably ain't many.  
  
Bye yall. 


End file.
